I skipped work to stalk him.
he was going down on me when he saw the warts...nevertheless he told me he had to pick his sister up from school. why does this keep happening to me???
too bad they don't have a 'people you may be able to do' thing on facebook. it would save me a lot of fucking time.
They should make Glad Forceflex condoms.
Just found out that I was singing john legend songs as I threw up last night. Quality.
my mind is a poorly written porno when i'm drunk.
just looked at his mug shot... not really my type
He's pole dancing on a heat lamp.
he said he wants to do me james and the giant peach style. im afraid of what that means. but moderately excited. wish me luck.
Doing bumps while the kids play upstairs. #bestnannyever
I found my weird threshold when Truth or Dare became everyone get naked and snort Adderall off the kitchen counter.
You introduced yourself and she said "wow that's a long name" and you went "yeah well you should see my dick."
He said you asked to eat pepperoni off his dick and he thought it was weird
I mean I thought it sounded fun
I'm on my way to bail our sister out of jail with our mother's credit card. How old are we??
i'm not too sure if he's up to my expectations looks-wise, but in the penis department he exceeds ALL regulations.
Randomize