i don't care what she did to you. we are not having sex in front of your sister.
are you serious? he told me he had to cancel bc his grandma came into town
well unless his grandma is 21 and blonde, HE LIED TO YOU IDIOT
it can't be normal that my body odor smells like fries
my professor just said "the power of the situation"
drink
If I won't even leave the house for sex tonight. I definetly not going out for anything else.
I have a callous on the palm of my hand just below my ring finger that is entirely from opening so many beer bottles. I'm strangely proud right now.
I know. But whatever I'll just eat cold pizza and play with my cats by candlelight
hey, being drunk and dumb is my thing. Don't take that away from me.
Well, my breasts are swollen and I cried about the Iditarod. But I say PMS until proven pregnant.
Oh you know..Chillin with your dad.
With a fannypack full of drugs.
just like cleaning my room and being more organized in my life. more so just making sure a toaster doesn't end up in my car again for 2 months
We kind of crashed their funeral party. Oops.
I just remembered that before we left my house I vowed to stay fully clothed and I FAILED
I HAVE 5 FELTING NEEDLES AND THEYRE GOING DIRECTLY INTO YOUR EYES IF YOU POST THAT SHIT
I don't think it's a coincidence that the day I just happen to do the splits at the gym I come back with 7 guys' phone numbers.
Randomize
