i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
the bank didn't screw up, i spent 150$ at mcdonalds last night
Some kid just walked into class with his schedlue written on a keystone box.
Well, I can't relate. I have no idea what it feels like to withhold sex. Or have self-control in general.
I hid a girl's boot last night so I could ransom it back this morning via the "blowjobs for boots" program.
I traded my shirt for vodka. I wonder if my parents can pinpoint where they went wrong raising me.
Is this a genuine concern or are you just high?
JUST BECAUSE I'M HIGH DOESN'T MEAN ITS NOT GENUINE CONCERN.
Oh, and i love you too. Im just a selfish dick who had to talk about myself first
I'm so high I would give anything in the world to be inside my lava lamp right now
Why would you waste your Ritalin on your children?
I found more straws in my beard this morning. Please stop doing that.
But I made it seem like I wasn't hungover at work, so that's a plus.
So the bar crawl I'm on is a "90s bar crawl" and I made the joke about a few overweight girls that "lack of concern for your weight is so 90s" it did not end well
He asked if we were going to take advantage of his drunken state. When we said no he tired to show us what we were missing out on. It was so sad it almost made him cute.
Didn't think I'd be dancing with the Power Rangers but here I am
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