Being alone has allowed me to flourish into a complete weirdo
Some guy with no shirt on and his pants undone informed us he was kicked out of the cab
I asked him why, and he had absolutely no idea.
i just fell asleep at my computer and i woke up and in the google bar it said delicious foods to eat
is it weird that i blow-dry my hair and poop at the same time?
not any weirder than you telling me this at 4 in the morning
george bush was a better president for first pitches than barack obama. there. i said it.
New game: Step 1) Turn on ESPN. Step 2) Drink every time someone says "LeBron."
just saw a guy driving a atv down the highway in a tux.... only in Iowa...
Still can't believe they give people like us a drivers license and college degree.
he asked if i wanted their team name to be " Amandas angels" or " Fuk budies" either way an intermural softball team of all my hook ups from spring semester is just depressing. convenient but depressing
I don't remember much, but my night is dated pre-Jaeger and post-Jaeger. Also, my boss may or may not have tucked me in.
I would've been fine if I didn't do the three shots
You did like 8
Why did I wake up to a snap chat of myself drinking beer out of a blender?
I was trying to drink every time they said planned parenthood but my body isn't cut out for this.
he's smothering me... and not in the good, can you move your thigh off my face please?.. way
We fucked on the roof... like that has to mean something
Randomize
