I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
I want to fuck you on the side of the bed tonight.
babe, don't say it like that!
I'm sorry, I want to penetrate you on the edge of our sleeping quarters this evening.
There's a girl at 7-11 apologizing for her behavior and asking if she can get her shoes back.
You got kicked out of the strip club for spilling a tall boy on the stage and when the bouncers came to take you out you told them that they should probably go clean up your pee in the back corner cause they didn't seem to notice that
and do you remember when you were dressing me if i had money in my bra?
Let's just cut to the chase. I'm not interested in anything romantic but I aAM interested in Tom Petty and maybe getting high and fucking you again for old times sake.
dude i woke up sitting indian style with my face on the ground and my hand in a bucket of ice.
Oh I woke up in my neighbors garage using one of their sleeping bags, as my neighbor was doing laundry in there.
Do you know how hard it is to maintain a conversation with someone who just told you they put their cat in the fridge on purpose?
I found her in my pantry with her shirt off twerking...I tapped her on the shoulder and she said she was giving Chef Boyardee a show and to give her a minute...
There they were doing the deed on the beach, looked like two seagulls fighting over a chicken bone.
He's talking about feelings now. I don't even know if he came???
Fuck. What bets did I make about "yeah when the Cubs win the World Series" that I gotta reneg on????
There were 16 girls and 31 titties. That’s how the club was. Lance doesn’t get to decide ever again.
That man fucks like a champ. The sex was so good I did him again in the morning just to be sure
Randomize
