Listen, I'm 30. If it doesnt involve a super soaker and some chicken wings, you can count me out.
half the nation just spent an hour watching a balloon fly around. we are officially the dumbest fucking country.
she won't take no for an answer... no matter what language i said it in
You cleaned out the gashes in your leg from hopping that fence with that whipped cream vodka, didnt you?
I'm drinking carlo rossi straight from the jug. I don't have any clean cups...how am I still at this point in my life...
She actually pushed her roomie out of the way and said 'You already fucked him it's my turn!'
Your lack of great college experience of margaritas and foam parties scares me
I still smell like men's body wash from that drunken shower I took at that stranger's home last night.
That freshman kid successfully snuck into a college party, got caught, proceeded to jump out of a second story window without getting a scratch then met up with us a block away and somehow managed to get a bottle of grey goose in the meantime. He is truly blessed by the alcohol gods
Don't come. It's not even a party it's a total sausage fest. Like 20 drunk dudes in a bedroom. We can still drink by ourselves though it'll be ok
Remember don't think of it as being an alcoholic until something bad happens.
Think of it as Mythbusters for people who say you're going to get arrested or die
How did you get him out of the shower last time?
Order Taco Bell and leave a trail of burritos leading to his bed.
How's Vegas?
Woke up with a sculpture of my own head. Been trying to find Ashley for two days. so pretty not too bad.
I HAVE TOO MICH DICK TALKING TO ME IDK WHAT TO DO.
if I was a good friend this would be the time that i would remind you that you have a boyfriend
Randomize
