I lost my shoes and bra and was beyond mapquesting
dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
Trying to convince my mother to let me take some of my sisters Lortab to sell is not going well
Just took my birth control pill next to the cubicle where we had sex last semester.
What can I say? When alcohol is my motivation, I can move mountains.
It's pathetic. My bed hasn't been this sexless since it was in bedmart.
Woke up in the ER with a nurse holding my tongue together inside of my mouth and a shattered jaw, the last thing I remember is opening the 151, care to fill me in?
found one of my socks in the dishwsaher... xanax
the bright side of moving is at least my Tinder options will refresh
RICK BROUGHT THE HOT BARTENDER HOME. SOMEONE CALL THE FIRE DEPARTMENT, CUZ RICKYS ON FIIIIIIIRE.
lmao nvm she punched him in the face and left
i just woke up, first off why is there pineapple everywhere and who's underwear is on my ceiling fan ?
he's annoying when i'm sober but vaguely hot when i'm drunk so yes i do have a preference and it goes by the name of vodka
You told me not to tell you found out you're pregnant..
Who the hell tries to steal eggnog.
Randomize