New Low: Just set a reminder on my phone for me to check on things I need to harvest late on Farmville.
I fell asleep with crest white strips on and ate one...
well, 500 bucks doesn't grown on trees, and i need that bear suit for any chance of vagina access.
He said he wouldn't use a condom because he didn't want to kill anymore trees.
We were laying in the basement dry humping to the rhythm of the washing machine
No i peed with you in the toilet. The guy I high fived was mid pee in front of the urinal
a 6'8" white kid in a Lin jersey just wandered out of my gay kid brother's room. when does spring break end, again?
A horseman, i repeat, a man on a horse downtown just told me i was gorgeous and my friends were not. Not drunk enough.
Do you think he feels stupid trying to bang girls with his small penis? I'd be embarrassed.
It's going to be so weird waking up tomorrow morning fully rested completely sober and not covered in piss or bruises.
We were escorted through the guys dorm by 5 kids with nerf guns and zelda shields. I felt like the president with a fucked up secret service squad.
I have alotted at least an hour for ugly crying.
Let's just wait to see what happens before we start making radical plans and starting fires
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
dude, i told you to rally, so you sprinted upstairs, knocked some girl down, and without missing a beat said, "not now bitch, im in the fucking zone" and took off
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