That's why you don't touch shit after fingering somebone
I didnt believe in cockblocking untill my roomate brought home that.
She's been divorced three times and use to raise cock fighters. Of course I'm interested in her
You picked me up and threw me on a barstool and shoved shots in front of me.
Thats like the definition of a good friend
She just kept tellin me God was coming back and he was leavin her with a bag of stale doritoes and shitty friends.
It's official. I am the proud owner of his very own sex tape. Amateur awesome porn or awful delete-me-now porn? Come over help me decide.
She said, "I don't really go out much, but my husband recently cheated on me" and I don't remember anything after that.
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
The last party at your house was a sex toy party...it's an obvious transition to baby shower
I'm tripping balls on ambien right now and I still feel that's a bad idea.
She makes margaritas with lemon-lime 5 hour energy..thats brilliant
and you were wondering how she got into Harvard
Grindr hookup awareness: always make sure that you agree to blow one person and they aren't bringing a Friend/boyfriend. Shits weird when you're sober.
It was inevitable. It was like I was a caterpillar and now I'm a drunk and high butterfly
Think I was still drunk when I woke up cause I went and bought a mandolin
I have to stay away from bourbon. Despite what it keeps telling me, it is NOT my friend.
Randomize
