is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
Note to self: soco dudes get amusinly uncomfotable when I moan at the urinal.
i am not allowed to pick the men i sleep with anymore
Sooo, drunk me had the sense of mind to write down everything that happened last night.....I bet you thought you'd get away with what you did to my parrot.
But it was well worth it to see a man fly through the air in a beaver costume...
She's legit crying about wanting more sex. Holy shit.
I wish the ER had shaved that part of my head. It would be easier to show people my staples at the bar.
He told him to "throw up in my mouth like I'm a baby bird."
Oh my god. A memory of last night just came to me. One of our neighbors joked about Thomas having a big dick and I just kept shaking my head profusely.
And at the semi-adult age of 25 I have shit my pants. Not even drunk, just really late to work. Is this real life?
Maybe whip a sausage around while you do it and pour some beer on you. Like a German white snake video
Please don't bang more than two exes at a time, just so I won't get confused.
I think I may have fully transcended this spectrum of life. I can see beams of light man. Down to the photons
What
The only downside is I can't stop skipping
you were so high you just watched the elf.... its spring
I woke up with a pube in my teeth...I'm disturbed cause we're both clean shaven
Randomize
