The girl I brought home was really impressed with the pile of blow you were doing while watching "Intervention."
I had a fork in my beer hand and just stabbed my tongue.
halfway through eating me out he goes 'oh that reminds me i have to buy fish for good friday'
I dont think yelling "Grab your dicks, time for pics!" helped your case either.
Some guy stole lobsters by hiding them in his pants. We should strive to be like him.
Heed the warning of the ghost of Oktoberfest present: German beer is soooooooo much better than our watered down children's piss. also lost all my clothes and am wearing lederhosen the rest of the trip.
I totally just stopped for a booty call on the way to my parents for easter....good friday is an understatement
I'm high and dancing to practical magic. Your needs for my penis can wait.
It all went downhill when I figured out I could launch myself into people with my crutches
Good news. His dicks gotten wayy bigger since high school. I love Thanksgiving break.
I don't care if he's the coolest coworker, if he's living in his mom's basement at 30 you should not buy drugs from him
I had cheese pancakes which is pretty much just melting cheese in a frying pan and then eating it except youre in denial that your life is a wreck
the walk of shame isn't very shameful when your mom tells you she's proud of you.
just woke up with a trucker hat, half a grilled cheese, and popcorn spread everywhere. last night must have been good.
You know those times when you're sitting down for a while and r like damn I'm sober but then stand up and r like WOAH HOLD UP.
Randomize
