I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
I'm still drunk from last night...I walked out for a cigarette with one of the Janitors here and apparently someone took a shit on the stairs...Which makes me wonder...was that me?
I may or may not be drunk driving a golf cart. Vegaaaassssssss.
I was looking at some smoking pipes on amazon the other day and realized that work people could look at my history and do a drug test. So I immediately started looking at Sherlock Holmes hats.
Walked in on my boss having phone sex at work... and somehow this didnt bother nor embaress him
all I know is I'm really rwfly really really stoned and a bunch of Korean people are yelling at me
I'm like the Mother Theresa of booty calls.
High gym went like this: I went to Dairy Queen instead.
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
Heat not working dressed like an eskimo. A real one with a ski sock on my junk
The dick lei will go down in squad history
He does impressions. Handy knowing you can get fucked by one guy and pretend a group of celebrities is running a train on you.
leads to pukin, then cryin, then 24hr masturbatin binge, then cryin again and finally a combination of all 3
I now know he's been cheating for a while. I also know HER name, address, phone number, Facebook account, religion and zodiac sign. I feel like I'm earning my restraining order. Point is, never fuck over a librarian.
I purposely left my thong and accidentally left my ethics book, hairspray and most of my dignity.
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