So, we're in the car ready to fuck and she asks about my ex. I wave at my lap and say, "bye". She asks what I'm doing. I say, "waving goodbye to my erection"
Still at the library. i hate tax accounting so much that i've started calling it potions...
Yeah, that's not really a good thing. Especially for a girl. You should get a tattoo on your stomach that says "Please wear a condom".
Day 3. Will have to postpone job hunting by a month. May have blown out my knee. Was sunburned on Friday. Now look painted red. Still alive. All worth it.
There's something really special about 3:00 in the afternoon drunk that just can't be duplicated at any other time of day.
She is ok w me having sex for money. Just gotta find rich grandmas.
She wants to have naked weekends
They call that free range vagina in France
She spilled some tequila on her hair somehow and I guess I felt bad for her, so I yelled "ROOMIES FOR LIFE" and dipped my hair in my tequila.
It was a perpetual wrestle for who got to be on bottom. Laziest hookup ever.
He wanted me naked, so I got naked. You can't hold that against me.
Is it counter productive to ride on my exercise bike with a cocktail in hand?
my poor anus
I got arrested in a leprechaun onesie
He punched me in the face while giving him road head, because he was driving stick. I shit you not.
i was watching the elves fighting on my knees while waiting for the shrooms to kick in then i realized
Randomize
