He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
I realized today that the only reason you made out with Travis is because he has nice teeth
i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
just came on the shower curtain. sorry housekeeping.
Are you complaining because you're getting too much sex to find the time to masturbate?
Well, when you say it like that it sounds silly.
Made out with a mannequin all morning in cpr training, so im ready to party
Just peed out a window, not entirely sure it's open. Can't tell. I'll find out in the morning.
Fucked her on the patio while some dude drove by on a mower. He waved. Twice.
I'm getting high with a 50 year old car wash guy. Enough said.
Burnt my boob on a piece of hot waffle at work today..I feel like thats a new low point in my career..
I'm telling you, this vagina is really making the rounds lately...
I legitimately thought he died. I even called his mom at 3am and told her. Im done with vodka.
In the last 3 weeks my drunken adventures have caused me to lose 2 credit cards, one debit card, a bracelet, two purses, and my $500 phone... Maybe i should quit drinking.
Oh fuck, I'm officially a cougar..he's got the same name as my grandson
...i have a beer in one hand, and a chicken wing in the same. typical tuesday, right?
Randomize
