Got separated, got a half bj, got dropped off in random part of the city, don't tell anyone
OMFG, I'm seriously about to get fairly unpolite with this guy.
Wow. I bet he's shakin' in his boots.
I just used my 7th grade year book to figure out who I hooked up with last night. Being home is magical.
Dude, I just scraped frozen vomit from my rooftop
I really wish I could say this is a new low for you
I am waking up at 7am to go to church with him and his family... I better get eaten out tonight.
Caught my drug dealer jacking off. I think this is a new step in our relationship
It hit me after I slept with his best friends and brother, that maybe I took it a bit far
Mym mom just came downstairs as I got ghome ans I'm trying to act SO CASUAL as i stabdh here hut icant help bur be like 'girl where's ther Turkey sandwiche s' haahaa
I literally need you to talke care of me soooo9o9oooooo drubj gril makin a sabdwiche. SO far its judst bred and paper towel...
Exactly, finding that perfect flask to come with you on all your adventures is like finding the perfect wedding dress. You have to feel it.
We lost Kevin again. Probably kidnapped by fattie 2 or butter-face 2 from last night. We need names and any information you can give us. Last scene with his shoe laces converted into a belt.
NOT EVEN KIDDING RIGHT NOW. THE GUY IN THE SPIDERMAN COSTUME JUST FELL OFF THE ROOF INTO A BABY POOL. GET HERE NOW!!
Do you participate in Sunday morning booty calls?
Dammit! I didn't see this message, of course I do.
The man sent me a video of him doing the helicopter, the least I can do is go visit him in the hospital
what are you getting to drink for new years?
well seeing as how i just got diagnosed with a uti, whatever we can mix with cranberry juice
welp,tonight ive reached new levels. by new levels I mean,i showed some guys my boobs for water. on your tab.. the most pointless thing ive ever done. either we should hang out way more,or never again.
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