Saw a guy smoking a cig holding it with a fork and driving WTF?
I've been emailing with a woman. I don't think she's into me, but we've become sorta email buddies. I'm hoping to meet her because on her profile she states she's into 'fisting.' Frankly the thought kinda freaks me out but I'm dying to see what kind of woman is 1) into that and 2) admits it upfront.
Just found a shot glass and plan b in my backpack...
Im guessing the shot glass is for plan c?
Just woke up with 34 slim-jims in my pocket. Too afraid to check the others.
Im in a bar and I just invented a scrabble drinking game. People are cheering. It's like the universe has aligned itself.
His thanks his mom for not having an abortion at his wedding toast. I love frat weddings.
Apparently 'check out this motherfucker' is not an appropriate greeting to use in the vicinity of sitting united states senators. Who knew
work has become about six times more interesting since i started fucking my boss.
you know you've had too much sex when your vagina hurts when you laugh
it's like i'm making a family tree of tunnel buddies for my vagina
I mean honestly, what would you have done?
Not screw her in the church house?
Texting people and counting condoms..we have like fourteen. Goal for this week: use all of them
i woke up wearing a life jacket, holding on to a footlong hotdog, and had on a mr. hustle 1995 shirt on
good night
I just bumped into this random I hooked up with a few years ago at Steve's party. Talk about a fingerblast from the past!
That awkward moment when you were so fucking drunk lastnight that you and your fuck buddy wake up wearing eachother's clothing covered in hot cheetos with his cat curled up between your heads meowing. Thought you'd appreciate this moment with me.
Randomize
