Taylor Swift is so right about you.
have fun at tinkers! p.s. are there any hot guys who look like they wanna wait until marriage to have sex?
Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
he just quoted gucci mane to try and get me to give him head.
you know it's bad when you need sunglasses to open the refrigerator
Grandma just handed out bail money... it's officially christmas
I returned her cell phone that I found in the bathroom, I felt the stretcher and the ambulance was enough of a learning experience.
Just found a pic on my phone of you on squatting on the hood of a police car about to take a dump. Care to explain what happened last night?
I just ASL-ed someone for the first time since 2002.
She is currently expressing her joy for "bad to the bone" through interpretive dance...
I decided I was tough enough to wax my bikini area myself. Long story short, I'll be drunk when you get home
Also I'm sorry for asking you to shave my vagina for me last night
Currently at a bar observing the mating patterns of drunken people in their 60s. This is hilariously terrifying. Hope he has Viagra.
The Adderall says yes, but my body says no.
Let me know if you need some dick this weekend.
Between the BF being in town, partying at the Side Dick’s house tonight and two Tinder dates tomorrow I’ve got dick to spare!!
Randomize
