you puked in the cab and all over yourself and tried to convince the cabby it was there already when he got upset... then you puked again. not too convincing are you
Cool, so I just walked in on my grandfather checking his prostate in the kitchen.
I introduced him to the male G-Spot. Don't ever tell me I'm not experienced.
I'm really proud of her, she waited until she was on tiled floor to start puking on the ground
I woke up naked in my bathtub at 5:30 this morning. There's legit a spray tan body print of me in the fetal position in my tub.
Pitchers of shots should be outlawed. I've puked more than i've breathed in the past half hour.
Apparently I texted my high school english teacher asking her to tell me what logical fallacies she taught us three years ago.
Are you having sex right now? Or is the apt just swaying rhythmically on its own? Either way, awesome.
A guy in a banana suit just got the whole bus to participate in a call and response version of Bohemian Rhapsody. HERO
After I came she just held my balls until I fell asleep. It was like adult swaddling. Magical...
Okay. This morning the comforter was wet, you were underwearless and using a tiny blanket. What'd you do??
She looks like a hot George Washington...I'm going for it
If the sex wasn't incredible why would I compare it to cheesy tots
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
you're the only girl i know who can be too sick to walk to the kitchen and still have enough game to receive multiple orgasms
Randomize