I am no longer a man. I just realized I prefer Spongebob to college football.
Then he told me he was 40. I'm not sure if I have enough Daddy issues to go for it
Jager Bombs are cool, but hydrogen bombs are where it's at. Sparks and jager equals instant black out, I mistakenly tried eating a cigarette thinking it was a nacho.
The only problem is i have violated all potential new years resolutions at the new years party.
I decided that just having that story under my belt and being able to tell it to my grandchildren is worth the regrets of the evening.
I think I get why guys like boobs so much. I just motorboated myself and it's fun. My boobs feel soft and squishy on my face.
All of my current injuries can be related back to sex.
Worst bachelorette party. She got smashed and cried because she thinks she might have herpes from when she cheated on him. Not looking good for them.
As for the 14 hours of vodka. I am all that is man.
I don't think she can come out, she went too hard in the Intro to Theater Drinking Game at 2:30
Got stoned and went to Walmart. For some reason a preacher walked up and asked if I knew the lord so I just yelled "I CAN FEEL HIM IN MY VIENS" at the top of my lungs. he left after that.
I just spent 20 mins in the shower washing n rewashing my body to get rid of stripper. I even loofa'd my face.
I didn't think four grown drunk men could cuddle on a twin size bed, but we found a way.
Apparently, im the only one in the world who thinks Larry King is hot.
I just Spray tanned myself while high as fuck its either going to look like a work of art or terrible graffiti
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