ad ew i am wasted whats my problem
I decided that not getting a job after college is gods way of telling me I will make a great housewife
No. one of us needs a degree and I am already the alcoholic friend. I can't do everything
Definately going to wake up wondering what happened to the other half of my lip.
Oh so it was one of those "I shouldn't have gotten in a cab with a random 21 year old girl" kinda nights.
PS August 29 of last year was when you ran over my foot. Facebook just reminded me.
Seriously? We dated for 2 weeks. TWO. And I've crushed his soul and put out the light in his dark world? What the actual fuck.
Yeah, well. That's what you get for dating a musician.
Just peed in the fountain while its snowing. Fell flat on my ass, literally my butt naked ass in a pile of snow. It's safe to say I'm done with drinking on weekdays
Trying to figure out what I just puked. Demon weed is salad. No more drunk buffets.
Im covered in coffee vomit and urine and none of which are mine
What shade of lipstick clearly states, I'm only attending this wedding for the drugs and groomsmen?
Someone fucked a stripper in their rental car, there is goddamn glitter everywhere.
i almost got into an argument defending my life choices with a guinea pig eating chocolate cake at 4am
sorry for the late response. was in jail for 6 months.
I made out with the hosts' boyfriend, infront of her, drank way too much, slept in my car and convinced everyone that I'm really a nice person. If that's not skilled lying, I don't know what is.
Randomize
