Today should be called shooting fish in a barrel day. Every place ive gone to ive met a girl who regrets not hooking up last night. There have not been girls this easy since Fathers Day
he/she has shaved legs and makeup on. but a spare tire stomach, high socks with high heels...a wig and glasses. and still talked like a man. it was a nightmare scenario
I'm just concerned it's gonna end up in my vagina again
dude, i woke up with a mini keg on my night stand. again. like wtf
I'm going to practice throwing things up the the air and catching them between my boobs, because that seems like a cool party trick.
Nothing says "lifelong friendship" like FaceTiming in a sex shop.
i repeatedly had to ask him if he was into this because he kept talking about random things while i jerked him off. i got annoyed and in order to annoy him back, i told him i wanted to watch him do it. he also talked about basketball WHILE cumming. NEVER AGAIN.
This may have to wait till tomorrow. I smoked so my back wouldn't hurt and I overshot relaxed by like 4 hits casually
The condition was that I had to eat her out to Beethoven
There were 7 of us cowering in the kitchen because you were swinging a giant, pink double headed dildo around like a nunchuk and hitting anyone who came near you with it.
idk how I feel so profoundly understood by someone whose latest tweet is "labia majora's mask." but I do.
I had sex with a mask on because I have the flu and I didn't want to get him sick.
How good was the sex? She sent me a fruit basket the next day.
This is Ryan, Kristin's husband. I don't know if you meant to send that pic to me at 3am. You may want to call Kristin. Neat piercing though.
Apparently I drunkenly told him I was going to ride him to the rodeo and break him like a bronco, then I stole his nachos and beer. Adulting is hard!!!
Randomize
