"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
Just kicked a guy in his penis in order to win a dance contest on Bourbon....desperate.
Hypothetically, how much legal trouble do you think i will be in for stealing someone's dog?
I always have trouble explaining my life decisions to people over the age of 30.
The last thing I remember before blacking out was telling Jamie that she was too fat even for my standards. The first thing I remember after blacking out was waking up next to her.
He was my shower sex Sherpa last night. And we both made it safely up the mountain.
They need to leave so I can start drinking shamefully.
She crossed her eyes and threw up into a glass while sitting at the bar. It was fifty shades of sketchy dude.
The only thing I remember last night was feeding my dog 4 McDoubles.
How do we stop her downward spiral?
Wine. For us.
I just watched two grown men tickle-fight. Just glorious. No words.
he said "be careful" then handed me a cheezit...
Like you know your sex life is in a downward spiral when your best friend offers to sext you from Ireland
Pretty sure I just scored Election Day sex based on the theory that if either of these fools win the world as we know it is over so we might as well get a few orgasms in...
I was in line at Panera when I got the pic you sent to your coworker. I just showed your vag to a soccer mom. The vibrator was a nice touch.
Randomize
