Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
I think "bars open christmas minneapolis" is the saddest google search i've ever done.
about to get into a hot tub with three cops. this cant go well
I think I've reached that age where I should start dating "congrats" and not "are you keeping it?"
My liver just had a heart attack.
If there was a tv show called "True Life: My 58 Year Old Dad Rolls Better J's Than Me" I'd be on it.
I told her I wanted to use him as a chew toy while simultaneously licking his face.
Did she tell him? And if so, was he cool with it? If yes, date him, date the fuck outta him.
Any idea why the fuck i would replace all the music on my ipod with the fucking Goosebumps theme song?!?
Apparently drunk you is really nostalgic?
I was orgasming and dying of laughter at the same time. I think I've found the One.
I wouldn't call us friends exactly. Honestly I just hang out with him so I can hit on his girlfriend. They won't last long, and I'll be there to pick up the scraps
With gravity the way it is and your butt clearly being the size of a bus you'd break your hip or something
I can't find my keys and there's a hotdog in my purse.
so i might have slept on your bathroom floor last night...
dude me and this dog are gonna go bond oon the tramplene with stromboli... i think everyone is staring at me... being this high is SO stressful
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