That's the first time you've ever said the L word without referring to drinking or partying.
yea i guess its safe to say fire extinguishers are not synonymous with whip cream cans
As I was going down on her I noticed she had a tatoo on her inner thigh that said "Eat it like your birthday cake".
He came inside me, looked me in the eye and said, "Happy Mother's Day"
That big chick who gave you the handly polished off one of the walls to the ginger bread house right before she came outside. FYI
I told my mom about how you got white girl wasted and sobbed about Whitney Houston. She sends her condolences.
tell her thanks so much
Piñatas plus fireworks don't mix well
Went to night shots with Kayla... she punched this guy and I got his friends number. Not sure if she's the best or worst wingman ever.
All I remember is dance battling with a man named tom the entire time who kept buying me drinks so id say it was a success
I was going to say "wearing plaid doesn't make you gay, I wear plaid!" but then... heavy sigh
He told me to tell my ass that he loved and missed it, and even though he hasn't known it long, it might be the one for him
Just realized I chose a bacon cheeseburger over sex last night
And if you haven't kicked a pigeon you haven't started your morning right
If you're signed up as "sober sister" can you do cocaine or nah
there is definitely a hickey on my left nipple.
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