so the sex was amazing up until the point where she said "wow, you're even better than your dad!"
I bought a Christmas tree in my drunken state last night, after walking a half mile in search of vino and prior to my apparently playing boardgames with my boyfriend's family. There is no way you are on my level.
Will you be topless? That will affect my answer.
My lower body still feels like its been through a garbage disposal and a trash compactor. In that order.
Also I think I'm starting to get calluses on my hands from my level of sexual activity
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
The cougar has a calendar on her wall of when she can give topless handjobs again. I pity her husband.
Maybe there is a secret pocket full of cocaine in that spiderman wallet.
I think I need a restraining order. I had 15 "selfies" of him on my camera roll......my phone has a lock code on it.
I think the exact words were 'I'd lett him to the weirdest shit to me'
My breasts were aching with rage.
I am at a new level of appreciation for drunk-you, who threw up into her own sweatshirt pocket last night in the car. Brava.
I woke up sick this morning, maybe sucking a random dudes finger at a bar last night wasn't that clean of an idea.....
Quote from doctor, "that is a VERY angry vagina".
I'm fucked.
He looked me deeply in the eyes and said "I don't want this to be the last time I see you.. Can I follow you on Instagram"
Randomize
