THAT'LL be a good time.
and i don't know why my phone always capitalizes that word.
Then you jumped off your bed with your arms outstretched, yelled "I'm Goliath, watch out New York!" and then began singing the Gargoyles theme song as you 'soared' around your room.
Don't be ridiculous, the Gargoyles theme song has no words. How could I sing that mess?
You just started going "da da da da da! da da da da da! DA DA!!" then going "swoosh" as you glided about.
she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom
And then he said "my dick isn't hard enough and your tits aren't big enough for this to work"
New channing tatum movie.
I'll bring my vibrator.
now that im off birth control, the world is a much scarier place
I just figured out, there are 9 children in this world that I can look at in the face and say "I fucked your mom."
I told him the truth. Truth leads to vodka. Vodka leads to tequila. Tequila leads to prison.
You kept screaming how great you were at drawing poptarts and you insisted on drawing them all over my forearm
I was crying hysterically and you wouldn't stop petting my ear and shushing me every time I tried to say something.
We found Kyle. He was next door yelling at the elderly couple to let him continue his golf game. No more afternoon drinking for him.
Turns out she left way earlier. So I'm stuck with this guy asking where he can score meth and if I'm really straight.
Is there a greeting card for "I can't keep being The Other Woman"?
You don't know bruises until you've been banged by 3 drunk bagpipers in the back of thier bus
I got a gay guy to motorboat me. These tits could change the world, I'm telling you.
Randomize
