so i definitely just saw 2 cops high five each other as they were arresting underage drinkers in 5 points.
Ya! She had a north face on tho so she was a classy hooker.
he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
Yeah I'm about to go down a waterslide that comes out a 2nd story window. I love college.
Recent Google searches: "babu kangarooz"... "why 2 tacos bell" and "is dinosaur in real life"
going to a night class in lingerie so i can quickly go to his house after.
Saturday dinner is funfetti cake and merlot. Singlehood has come to this.
I'm tired of stuffing my fat into a slutty costume. Next year let's go as homeless girls. Cute ones. In leggings with camel toe.
I was the only one at the party that didn't get their name taken by the police. I'm convinced that I'm the main character of Ferris Bueller's Drunken Adventures.
I was doing drugs in the men's room so my employee went in to the woman's for the same reason but left proof and got caught. Had to fire him cuz I bogarted his dope spot. Awesome.
Your "dubstep at ceilis" resulted in a random naked guy busting into my room and peeing all over my bathroom
We both work at 8am and I have to shower but my roommate is passed out on our bathroom floor with the door locked. Merry Christmas.
Cocaine and dance dance revolution for 4 hours. I consider last night a success.
Do not tell me I cant do drunk math ever again, AND I made a creative way of telling him I want him to fuck me.
He stood up through the sunroof yelling "CHOCOLATE MILK BITCHESSSS!!!! YOU AIN'T WORTH SHIT NOW!!!" the sad part is he wasn't even drunk yet. I worry about him sometimes.
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