you puked in the cab and all over yourself and tried to convince the cabby it was there already when he got upset... then you puked again. not too convincing are you
Saying she let herself go implies she was actually holding on
after everytime she pucked, she insisted on us all giving her high fives
why does he think he needs to feed/take me out to get some ass? we are at a bar wasting my fucking time
It was like what a highfive between zeus and Jesus would sound like
Last night we hooked up in nothing but out UK shirts during half time. Never say I'm not a dedicated fan again.
his profile picture is him throwing up "#1" hands after his lax championship next to his coach that i fucked....embarrasing for him, yet ironically beautiful for me.
the awesomeness of being snowed in wore off after we ran out of beer and we realized we really didnt want to be stuck with everyone.
One of my students in my 8am class brought me a Tim Hortons cup with a bloody Mary in it. Clearly, I didn't manage to look not drunk when I ran into him at Denny's at 4am. Who decided to let me teach?
U were yelling that I wasn't generous or supportive. Then you kneeled and said this weird prayer about the windows and doors of your life.
I fucked a guy that's in Sports illustrated. I'm officially ready for college.
GLITTER SLIP N SLIDE MUTHAFUCKAH~
I have fence marks all over my body
I can't remember the last time I saw a penis in person that I didn't see a million times on text first
last night I learned that if you try to buy tacos in this town, that you will be stopped by three cop cars with breathalizers
Randomize
