she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
Red Bull/Vodka? You bet I'm showing everyone my penis tonight.
ARE YOU ALIVE? usually when i say lets start drinking at inappropriate times you come right over. im worried
Just when you think you're never going to have sex again, BOOM you're naked in bed with a guatemalan
So when I got her home I realized being a lesbian again isn't like riding a bike...
I have a king size bed, I guarantee multiple orgasms, and I'll give you a ride home in the morning. Respond quickly.
Please tell me why your entire hallway smells like microwaved condoms.
So this guy is eyeing me from across the bar. Either the girl I hit on next to him is his girlfriend or he's her gay best friend. I should show him my Penis and find out.
Dude. Do it.
Definitely her date. But she saw it too. So now he used to be her date. Why can't this stuff Happen when I'm sober?
You called your ex's vag an "AIDS Pinata". Drunk You is the Hulk Hogan of insults.
Fucking that physical therapist guy was the best decision I ever made.
I can't put those talents on a resume
This is even better than the wine from my laundry basket
And how about the fact that the first time i really truly looked at a guy's dick was in my car. MY CAR. GODDAMNIT!!!
Never thought I'd see the day when I got assless chaps in the mail, and yet here we are...
I'm not too sure what happened last night, but by the looks of it, we must have gotten drunk with zebras.
Randomize
