rolled in at 7am w/ 2 girls i met at the strip club. my neighbor was getting up to mow the lawn before he took his kids to school. i'm 31. he's younger. if given the chance, you think he'd want to switch places?
i just smoke outta the biggest bowl i've ever seen. the kid was totally compensating for a tiny weeenie.
I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
just snorted lines off a mancala board. I'm destined to win this game.
we marched down beaver avenue with lit tiki torches humming the olympics opening song.
We were squawking at each other for over an hour like chickens. Literally. Never touching the stuff again and never again showing my face at that Denny's.
Last night, I accomplished the impossible. I pissed while riding my bicycle home without pissing all over myself. My Dutch friends gave me a round of applause and said I was now the king of holland.
I'll get him an axe as a present. So he can break out of his closet. That axe being my penis.
im just laying in bed, eating, getting fat, enjoying eating and getting fat, thinking about how i will probably have to get a fat boyfriend.
You're telling me he never had to ask for a blow job and he STILL broke up with you? I call bullshit on that one.
We were having sex and my nose just started pouring blood. He reached down to the floor, grabbed a sock and held it to my nose. He just kept pounding away like nothing was happening.
he was high. i was rolling face. we were both wearing grateful dead t shirts. at that point it's like we had no choice but to fuck
Uhh I just had to break up with a guy who I didn't even know I was dating...
Ahha guy saw me buying beer, went "hmmmmm" and nodded his head approvingly. No words exchanged, but he has made his way to my heart haha
I'm dancing with a sandwich I just made cause I'm so happy how delicious it tastes, that high haha
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