What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
She has a concussion we think. Dancing to barbie girl.
i called my mom using *69 and said this was the principal and Matt has a snow a day today. she believed me.
is it a bad thing if he can only get off when i start talking like one of the girls from Jersey Shore??
what date should I let him know how fucked up I am?
Dude just read our convo. Apparently I was talking to you while I was naked. She wasn't happy about it.
Truth be told I was googling "why is my left calf bigger than my right calf", porn would've been a better excuse for a virus.
If you're not on crutches for breakfast, I'll feel like I've failed you.
So we just smoked a bowl, out of an antler, with this old dude, while standing at the bar. Dude just walked up and said we were in his spot, just began packing it and handing it around...
3 cups of coffee and some molly. The "Tay's Day Off Diet"
That guy I hooked up with in new york last 2 statuses are "I'm going to be a father, it's a girl" then "wow syphilis sure does burn" I'm legit scared... What has my life come to.
Well I'm nervous now about the consequences of letting you loose
It's a big decision, I respect that you need to think about it.
I know you can't find me. Somehow I ended up on the roof smoking a cig with the strippers that are on break. Way too drunk to deal with this right now.
Met the hot new neighbor. She's into country music and giving really good bjs. Latter made up for the former.
I'm still very high. To be blunt. No pun intended.
Randomize
