what time did you get home last night?
SO late...when your in the lap of a 35 year old superstar you loose track of time
He said to me " i could be your father but i dont care"...it was so hott
I thought Christmas was going to come before I did
halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
season finale of lost and an oz of weed. tonight my mind is going to be blown.
protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
Eating Doritos is not nearly as enjoyable when I'm not drunkenly feeding them to peacocks.
It's not meant to be. I also just shot a turkey baster of gin into Nate's eye, so....
We established that I was in 5th grade when she was in her final year of grad school. Her daughter is also in 5th grade.
which guy lost his keys in my bed this weekend?
I don't know how or when he is sober long enough to donate plasma
Friends don't brand friends with cigars. It's not how it works.
5% want to drink juice and feel better, 95% just want to touch your butt
I lost my virginity to Adventure Time. DO YOU NOT UNDERSTAND THE SIGNIFICANCE?!
did anyone ever come to your door asking about the blood on the floor?
I gave him breakup sex, AGAIN
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