I'm a terrible person. There are two guys speaking sign language on the metro platform and at first I thought they were drunk and doing a silly dance.
For his 21st I'm getting a fancy hotel that way he can at least sleep in a nice bathtub
I might not be able to enter cuba but that doesn't mean that a cuban can't enter me
Hold on there are flying pancakes I can't handle this right now
So apparently the christmas orgy was a complete disaster
Everyone is sleeping and i'm sittin here in my iron man mask, watchin chelsea lately and tryin to figure out how to smoke through it.
So half of us were already throwing up outside when the Ukrainians ask us if we're ready to start partying yet. I love this country.
I walked into a McDonalds at 8:30 am with a half-eaten apple and a solo cup. Never felt so judged.
It's gameday bitch. Man up.
Just beer bonged tequila, broke into the hotel next door and got chased by security. It's spring break
We turned on "find my friends" and watched her progress. Got concerned when she didn't move for an hour on Adelaide, turned out a booty call was made, then she went back to the bars.
I just smoked a joint and ate a sandwich while watching someone get arrested. Bonnaroo is a silly place.
He rubbed aloe on my sunburn while I blew him... could he be anymore perfect?
Somewhere on my work laptop I have a map visualizing all the area codes that Ludacris has ho's
I hope that wasn't done on billed time
I can guarantee that it was
yeah. i tried to refuse to leave unless the burger king himself escorted me out. that didnt fly
Thanks for supporting me through Robs retirement. I'm still in shock, but your dick helped.
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