The make-up sex just reminded me why we broke up in the first place.
Every single time I start thinking that we shouldn't have done that to him, I think of his ballsack in our passed out faces. No sympathy.
Fuck you. how could you leave me passed out hangin out my truck window when you knew it was starting to rain?
Well he has that kind of carefree attitude that comes from a big penis
Code red. She won't talk to me. Maybe it has something to do with her raccoon eyes. Perry said there was a brief moment of towel fighting until you passed out. Did you draw the turtle on my ass?
You have all been randomly chosen to participate in a new game called: how high was I? If you have any information about this or about where my clothing items went give me a shout. Thanks an good luck.
I'm so hungover all I can do is stare at my curser and hope it starts moving on its own
dude, you were feeling up her boob for 20 minutes in front of the guy she was hitting on because you and her had an argument over who had bigger boobs.
hey man, it was for science okay.
I never should have let my cousin and his pregnant girlfriend move in with me. I'm never having sex again. They scare off men more than 'my dream wedding' pin board.
There is a 90 percent chance I threw up in a mailbox last night....
Less than a month to graduation and I'm still blacking out on the reg tonguing down the closest breathing organism preferably with a penis but I'm flexible, and still havent figured out how to be functional on Fridays. WHY don't they teach us valuable shit at this institution!?
We took vodka shots. You kept saying it was the key to your heart.
I shit you not. Dude complemented me for being meme savvy. You could drown a toddler in my panties right now.
"can you come pick me up from the ikea parking garage i think i slept here"
I consider walking to the bars and dancing my exercise and I buy doubles so my drinks r heavier so that's my arm workout
Randomize