You just left with that feminine looking guy you kept calling "Jessica." Just giving the heads up.
for on dont try to tell me you love me after three weeks of talking, for two if you are going to do that stay away from the song lyrics to a very good country song that you happened to ruin by using it, and for three erase my number im fuckin your sister now
it's been a while because I don't count the hooker
I found the perfect eye liner, it passed the blow job test, no smudging!!
I just put up a picture on my dorm room wall of that ginger you hooked up with to remind myself that everyone makes mistakes
please come over and have sex with me so we can talk about prom and kill 2 birds with one condom
frozen drink friday is suspended until further notice
Ok! I picked up an anti-celebratory bottle of champagne on the way to dinner for her going to rehab. That's how I feel about this...
When we picked him up this morning the cop said that if they actually arrested every drunk American who pissed on cathedral doors, Spain wouldn't have any room for real prisoners.
We should give each other good-luck-on-your-finals head in the morning.
Come camping we have xanax and steaks
you told me I was being patronizing because I didn't want you to run barefoot across a construction site
True life: I got so drunk that i took a shower with my clothes on at 4 am...
Girl in front of me just swan dove into the middle of the carpeted hallway, stood up, clapped for herself, and then continued walking. My life is complete.
I need to leave my mind and my stupid vagina are having fight over who's right
Randomize
