Everything was good until you pulled the bartenders hair because she cut you off
Judging by the amount of alcohol multiplied by the amount of her exes here, tonight will be ending in tears.
He was eating mac and cheese. Raw. Like as in he was eating the uncooked noodles then pouring the dry cheese in his mouth.
I was masturbating with the shower head and someone flushed the other toilet. Pretty sure I have 3rd degree burns on my clit.
I stole an ensure out of their fridge and started chugging it. That was when Maria made me leave.
I dont even remember coming home... All my stuff is strewn randomly around my apartment... And I woke up at 5 sitting propped up in my bed with just my arm in a shirt
Oh my fucking god I saw the pictures. What the mother fucking fuck. Destroy the pictures. Destroy the fucking pictures.
Please confirm the destruction of the pictures. NOW.
I don't really know how to explain this place...it's like I feel like I need an std just to fit in
Regardless of the amount of alcohol you may consume tonight - DON'T take anybody home
That chick went from zero to shitshow in only 6 shots.
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
Would it be considered cannibalistic if I wanted to eat off his bacon tattoo?
no, you don't understand how much people deal here. All I had to say was "hey lets buy a bag" and he pulled over instantly, then the randoms in the car behind us pulled over and sold us a bag.
I know it's like I wanna bring somebody fun who I haven't drunkenly expressed my feelings for. Or hooked up with. It's a struggle.
Sleeping with him wouldn't be considered hoeing out... It seems more like babysitting.
Um, when I went down on you it got stuck there. Still had gum in my mouth. Didn't exactly have use of my hands to assist
Randomize
