he used his one phone call on me and it said "you have a collect call from- LETS GET IT- at the montgomery county jail".
I didn't exactley write on my bucket list -- "hook up with a townie at a drivers intervention program"
Is it bad that I had sex with another guy on my boyfriend's bed while he's out of town?
Just flip the mattress, it erases all
Done and done
Yes..we had amazing sex that I have a 50 percent chance of remembering.
When he left he said something to the effect of "well now that I've been used..." I think he may be on to me.
Long story short, the rash from your last birthday party told me not to go to this one.
Please stop hiding condoms in my house. If I want to have sex with you, I will let you know. FYI, my mom found the ones hidden behind the milk. She was not happy.
Its not like i paid for sex. She was stuck there, we simply exchanged rides.
Just woke up to find myself in a random bed with two people next to me having sex. I thought it would be awkward to just suddenly get up so i think I'm gonna lie here and pretend I'm still sleeping.
I can motorboat myself in this new push-up bra. I need to go out tonight.
My dad handed me a drink and said, "This'll knock your dick in the dirt..."
Dude, I'm pretty sure I slept with my TA's girlfriend
We have your weave and dirt in our room.
Also this time, I didn't have a random creepy guy come up from behind me, grab my junk, and whisper "where's the cocaine?" in my ear. So that's also a win.
It feels appropriate that the wallet of my high school and college years would die at the hands of a spilled bong. Which in and of itself is a solid metaphor for those years.
Randomize
