Hey man sorry I got all grabby
I woke up 25 minutes ago and have been high for 20. Impressive?
The Masters... another excuse to excessivly start drinking by 1
Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
It's just weird. It's like Big Bird dating Meg Griffin.
Dude, I need a lifestyle change. I'm to old to be making out with chicks in foam parties, letting older chicks get all excited because I let them put their hands up my shirt, and running around doing scavenger hunts with 18 yr old chicks.
I convinced every single one of my cousins to bring me a glass of wine. I was the alcoholic queen and they were my subjects.
No memories of receiving this. Or of getting home. Or of apparently developing a taste for marmalade, which I assume is yours because I have literally never eaten it before. It's all over the kitchen. And my phone. And in my hair. Oh god I wish I wasn't on the train to work. X And sorry about the kitchen x
It is super hard to find a good vegan dominatrix! THAT'S why I'm single
currently buying a pregnancy test while braless so happy november to you too
Its not often you get to say, "The security guard at my job is my new drug dealer," but as of last night, I get to say it.
YOURE ABOUT TO SEE SO MUCH UNCIRCUMCISED DICK
The candles are lit, the magic circle is drawn, now all we need to do is get naked and see how many orgasms we can manage.
So is it your turn now to pretend like dating someone else would stop us from fucking?
Dude we were sitting at my place stoned as fuk then someone knocks on the door and it was my neighbor giving me a huge box of cookie dough. Magic of weed.
Randomize
