sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
My place. Tomorrow Night. Bring your liver, and something for it to do.
Passing las posas road. In a world of pain. Im trying to piss in a bottle through the hole in my crotch. I wish i had a bigger dick.
I've done 29 out of the 30 things to do to a naked man according to Cosmo. I don't know if that makes me innovative or slutty.
Genius.
Whats the name of the guy with his hand down my pants?
I think throwing up in my her purse is probably why we broke up
Didn't get laid. But got a free pie from a waitress. A whole pie.
You know its going to be a good day when you have to brush your teeth out of a cup in your room using the vodka and water mixture in your fridge because you're locked out of your restroom
Beer acquired. Food is cooking
Wow, you are almost sliding into home plate for some stellar fellatio
Ok so you know that's gonna be legally viewed as kidnapping, right?
You kept whispering to me that the guy making your burrito was an angel.
Personally, I'm gonna be Sexy Dobby the House Elf.
Everything is a learning experience. Last night we learned why I'm not allowed to bring guys home from the bar....
he told me he had a gf and in the very next sentence asked if I wanted to have sex.
She stood up through my sunroof the entire drive home. screaming her ass off and singing free falling..
Randomize