Should I text him? Life is confusing when you actually like someone instead of just wanting to blow them.
if every girl in minneapolis isn't pregnant when i get back to the cities i will cry
Coming home soaking wet at three am and trying to convince the front desk man that we came from the library might have worked if I wasn't also roaring at everything.
He was on Keeping Up with the Kardashians it was like a deed from god to bang him
sorry for the naked aussie man in your room last night, he got lost on his way to the bathroom
Well I don't know him that well so I don't think I can give advice. You should make him a cake. Or have sex with him.
I wore a firefighters hat and drank beer all night. They had to drive me home after breaking the beer pong table, they told me I was welcome back tonight though...
I got back at him the only way I knew how, by hooking up with the guy he hates from their rival fraternity.
They just showed up to the party with a shopping cart full stolen of naty ice cans, no boxes, just cans. Shit just got real !
i tied my phone to a string attached to my bra. i am NOT losing it tonight
Then while I was crying on his shoulder, he got a boner. Soo. I kinda just hopped on.
Bad news man, we're gonna have to reschedule Golden Coral: The Musical
I don't know who the fuck this is, but right on man
Kids music just accidentally came on at this party. I didn't know how many stoners were here until they all sang along.
dude i haven't had a solid dump since sunday and i still cant hear out of my right ear
The cards I get dealt on tinder now are karma for fucking a married man while I was in high school.
Randomize
