I think I sharted a yagerbomb.
I had to call maintenance to come unclog the toilet.
Something to remember me by.
Please tell me the foreign boys in the kitchen this morning were yours.
Just got motor boated by a horse in the street
Ya I painted "STOP TRYING ANAL" on her headboard. I'm sick of listening to her whine through the wall and bitch the next day.
Just promise me you wont die... or hook up with an old asian lady playing slots
Cant promise that last part. I won't die though
We're you guys there last night when everyone started chanting "Nacho Steph"? Someone picked me up, carried me to the nacho cheese and made me do a nacho cheese stand.
well one of us has to be wrong and it's not going to be me
Me too, I feel like I pinched your nipples excessively. At the time it seemed like a good idea, but in retrospect I'm not so sure.
It's getting to the point where my ability to get dick pix during the work day is impressing even me. Take that, adulthood!
What did you two do last night and why did Sam send me a picture of your dick?
I panicked i brought burritos. Funeral burritos
This is seriously fucking awkward. My favorite sex scene just started and my dad's still here. He offered me Cheetos.
Death by dick. An honorable death. Put a picture of his dick in the photo collage at my funeral.
We have massive handle of kettle and a rack of hi life
That's the happiest ive ever been at 7:48 am....
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