I feel like your standards for women is like rent-a-centers standards for credit.
never have i ever had a craving for dick this badly
Is sexting at a funeral morally wrong?
she peed. on the sidewalk. it is 2 pm. Help.
she made out with a stripper. how was scrabble night with your girlfriend
Just remember that she is a giant dick-sucking forehead and you are better than that.
My mom said that if she can come this weekend, she'll buy the weed.
My clit is not a Gobstopper. Cut it out.
He wouldn't give me a cup of water for my bong so i sat in the drive thru to run up the timer until he gave it to me.
Please tell me you've ingested more than weed and Oreos today
When you finally get laid, I shall make you a trophy out of dildos
Ick. That's not even the fun kind of punishment.
I gave him a HANDJOB.
But then he finished from a handjob in under two minutes so who's really laughing?
I'm high. I apologize for that last sentence
I mean, who hasn’t been fingered in there back of an Uber?
Randomize
