whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
did you violate me with a mr sketch marker when i passed out? i just peed and wiped purple and it smelled like grape. i need to get to the bottom of this...
sweetheart all i remember is you throwing up and saying "i thought things would be better now that barack obama is president"
you were passed out snoring, face down with all your clothes still on and 20 minutes later you sat up and said "FUCK YES" and then passed out again.
Day 8 of being sober: Sniffed an empty beer bottle at a restaurent and almost licked it. This is not working
There are bruises on the top of my foot. The pole won.
Apperanlty I was screaming "It's hard to swim with a broken ankle sir" and then tackled the lifeguard. The joys of blackouts
He gave me an orgasm before we even reached 2nd base, everything he did in high school is irrelevant.
when was she peeing in the stairwell? why dont i remember this?
....because generally we only remember 40% of the night each, and have to fill eachother in. And that still leaves 20% that we will never know and its probably for the best
I am both excited and frightened by the fact that this much everclear is legal here. Best vacation ever.
Went outside and he was playing rock paper scissors with a cop over a drunk in public ticket.
I think you're my mermaid sister. Separated at birth, by sea.
Amazon.com "suggested" I buy both nipple clamps and opera gloves.
she opened a can of olives, drained the juice and poured ranch dressing in. oh and 'croutons' (saltines) on top...
I have jury duty tomorrow
I almost deep fried my finger today and yet I think you are worse off than I am.
Randomize