Is it sad I memorized the exact change required for a #7 at Wendy's?
There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
Billy Mays died!
I know. And the US is beating brazil...what's wrong with the world?
she used her cellphone as a light to find my clit under the sheets. worst.lesbian.ever.
I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
I wish I could attach your penis to someone I like more than you.
I've started grabbing my boobs in front of my lesbian philosophy professor so she'll give me a better grade. It's working...
Just told my mom sparks is a health drink. Officially getting hammered on the way to the beach.
And I'm determined to make an Eiffel Tower happen sometime. I just don't know who will take the pic (first world sex problem?)
he had shaved armpits. I repeat: HE SHAVED. HIS. ARMPITS! First hookup of 2014 and it's with a weirdo. Alcohol:1 Me:0
Yeah. That's the shitty part. God, I don't want to be a step mom. Sure I'm great with kids, but I just want unlimited sex and not have to worry about making friends with a fucking 7 year old.
So I got this new job… ever been fucked in a corner office before?
Trust me, I'm a professional lesbian.
....I just did my boss
I love you. And I will hold your hand as we skip on the road to hell.
It probably doesn't matter because I'm drunk...but I'm sorry for getting you drunk, having you almost lose your place to live, all your friends, permanently lose your liver functions, throwing up on my floor, losing virginity...etc...mostly I'm sorry for making you watch: cabin in the woods.
Randomize
