I hate seeing commercials about babies when i'm high
Yeah, I don't like babies at all
You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
Talk about awkward... Just went to dinner with my mother and realized I fucked our waiter the night before. She HAD to see the looks he was giving me!
It's just like the Real World with babies
mom and dad googled us on the weekend. i love the internet less than i did on friday.
Somehow she slept thru the vacuuming, people walking in and out, and the sound of constant beer bottles hitting the trash, but when someone said weed in a regular volume of voice she startled awake.
If we can only get laid once in a blue moon, apparently this will be our month.
I wasn't trying to be rude when I hurriedly walked past you, but I can not put in to words exactly how bad I had to shit.
I just woke up from quarter beer tuesdays wearing 3 pairs of underwear, none of which are the ones I left wearing...2 Around my waist and one around my shoulder in an attempt at a bra. At least drunk me tries to be decent?
I cut myself stripping on your car. Probably a profession I shouldn't pursue
The guy at the rodeo just told me "if ya don't say none, ya don't get none". What the hell does that mean?
Im pretty sure you just got hit on by a gay cowboy.....
Explain why there's a meatball in my bong
Having weed delivered to your door is like having your own personal Santa Claus
If I hear you use the phrase "silky soft scrotum" one more time I swear to God you'll regret it
She's nice. But even when I am with her I am thinking of her mom, literally the hottest woman on earth.
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