Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
words cant express how excited I am to make January 1st our own personal version of The Hangover
he was pretty good aside from the whole putting his tongue on my butt thing
Want any specific kind of beer?
Yeah. Alcohol flavor.
Got it. Anything but Miller.
No mine's bigger. It just looks smaller because I'm drunk
So it turns out rose was the bear hunting girl. Fuck my life
None of those words made sense together.
dude she got out of bed and definitely took a shit then checked her stomach out in the mirror and whispered "well that probably took off five pounds"
I drank enough to tranq a steed. You really missed out
I want falafel more than sex right now. That's really saying something for me...
You've opened Pandora's butthole my friend. There's no going back.
How are you feeling this morning?
Well, I just found day old puke in my bra, so I've been better.
yeah, i'm probably gonna die. still gonna be totally worth it tho
This is why you have to watch more Zombie movies- to prepare for End Times...
Just found a rebirth in peppermint schnapps. May be able to stay up all night and finish this paper after all. MERRY CHRISTMAS
Im bringing my light up rubber ducky just in case we end up at a rave tonight. HE CHANGES COLOR!
Randomize