But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
You can tell a man will be prosperous by the power of his farts- A fart that can shake the room is a voice that can change the world.
So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
I wish you could buy pregnancy test at the liquor store, it's the only place I feel comfortable being a disgrace because I know they understand why it happened...
woke up rolled in a yoga mat listening to enya. I'm never going back to Oregon ever again.
I'm sober in pajamas at a bar. Nothing is ok about that statement.
I want to celebrate with you...
There's nothing I'd like more than a celebratory "The guy I'm doing just found out he's not a baby daddy" dinner.
You don't understand. He was so ginger that he could make red hair a dominant gene. And I refuse to torture my future spawn like that.
FALSE ALARM! I didn't piss myself, I fell asleep in the shower and then drunkingly crawled into my bed
I think I shall call his penis Gatsby. We talk about it all the time, but I never see it.
Remember the couple Steve and I heard and rated their sex based on the bed squeaks cuz we couldn't sleep through the noise? We got them back. They turned up the radio to drown us out.
Sometimes I really think that if... When your stoned you have a catlike ability to just relax in any position
WHAT IS ALL THIS WATER BOTTLE FLIPPING NONSENSE? WHAT IS LIT?
YOUTHS.
I'm officially disproving the fact that a hoe never gets cold bc this hoe is COLD.
Randomize