thanks for house sitting, cat must be hiding again... everything go ok?
... about that ...
He kept asking me to take off my bra and I sat up so he could. He fumbled with it for a few minutes and when I sighed and went to undo it he goes, "Yeah, you got this."
no you cant smoke seaweed
thanks for texting me "so many asians" at 1am...
there were a lot.
one night of dollar margs at dinner and dollar beers at the bar later, i am throwing up in his shower and gurgling soap and water to kill the taste of sin in my mouth. dollar days need to stop endng like this.
well i just got discharged from the hospital after getting pegged in the head by a t-shirt gun so thats how my night was.
Just walked out of 7 11 still in uniform when 4 girls in bikinis in a convertable screamed "we fuck firefighters!"
Career choice validated
Yah, I guess one silver lining is I'd never seen a full water cooler get thrown down a flight of stairs, gotta appreciate the little things
I think that girl got really offended when I made out with baby Jesus.
Bringing my mom Taco Bell and weed. I'm such a good daughter
HE MIGHT HAVE YOUR BUTTHOLE, BUT HE CANT HAVE YOUR HEART. THATS MINE.
Glitter fights sound a lot funner in theory.
We broke into a construction site had sex on a scissor lift and realized it was a church...tomorrow again??
Remember that pair of super cute shorts I pooped in? I miss those 😔
I just saw puke on the road at the same stoplight i threw up at sunday morning! Makes me smile inside.
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