so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
if socks could get pregnant i would have catholic amounts of kids
I'm on his itunes. He has a sex playlist. It's actually not so much a playlist as 12 Kylie Minogue songs with a big gay Whitney finish.
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
and a jello shot exploded in my bra last night. Now I have blueberry smurfette boobs. Awesome.
I feel like I've been hit by a truck, flew up and landed on a fence post that went straight through my vagina. No more vodka and sex for a while.
I feel like death crawled up inside me and died. That sick
I asked this couple what they would like to drink and they leaned toward me eagerly and asked if we still have THE root beer ... Idk if this is code for please add cocaine to my drink
Everything was cool till you started pissing while standing at the bar
Dude the little bong I just got fits nicely in the cup holder in my car. The gods approve of my habits.
How awkward is it to have the guy you used to sleep with congratulate you on your engagement? I'll tell you. Very.
My joke about liking my coffee like I like my men IS ABOUT TO COME TRUE.
I'm a grown ass woman. Treat me like one. Fuckboy
A condom just fell out of me. Happy Tuesday.
I am now gainfully employed. Parents, lock up your children.
Yay! Welcome to the world of "you're seriously trusting me with your kid?"
Randomize
