Just be blunt and say drink from my dick
I can't find my pants or my car
I didn't even hookup I think I took them off at taco bell...
ha omg I always lose my dignity at taco bell as well... so no big deal.
But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
what kind of morning-after breakfast implies 'thanks for the sex, but i'm not gonna call you ever again'?
Today in psych we learned that you are a whore.
Me specifically?
Yep.
His sister just told me that she thinks i'm a stupid bitch and that by going thru with this I'm ruining his life.
sounds like a hell of a rehearsal dinner
he threw up on me, hugged my legged and then started laughing. when i asked him why, he said "it's like the sour patch kids commercials."
no dont worry i changed into my costume in the hospital bathroom
I lost the bet. I now have to do all chores sans clothing of any kind. I give it a week before I'm knocked up...
I was high last night eating a fudge bar and making eggs with toast and corned beef hash for a 2 am snack and my dad asked what I was and the only reply I could think of was "I'm an adult."
I just got stoned alone and repierced my nose. don't ever tell me I'm unaccomplished
I just got stoned by myself and am eating cookies so I'm right there with you
he spent an hour trying to rescue a bug from the sink. turned out to be a sesame seed.
I heard from the downstairs bathroom "WHY CAN'T I WIPE MY ASS IN PEACE!" and a pisscrate of glass bottles breaking
Bro, I live in a constant state of existential dread and moderate ennui. The prospect of cosmic horror doesn’t faze me that much.
He made me promise not to describe his penis in detail to you....oops.
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