Even the bartender felt bad for me
Don't feel too badly. Until twenty minutes ago my paper was a heading and a pizza order.
I just tried to light a cigarette with a tube of lipstick. If I had stayed in girl scouts maybe I could've made that happen.
Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
She gave 2 thumbs up when Nirvana came on the radio while blowing me in the bathroom
My mother walked into the bathroom at 345 am while I was splashing in the bathtub with the remnants of her birthday cake all over me... she looked at me and walked out...
I guess the study abroad went badly, I gave him a joint and he just smoked it and cried all the way from the airport
To tired for the bar. Came home and drank wine out of the bottle. Kind of don't want to know what that says about my life.
I just came inside of a Gatorade bottle. That hungover.
There's times when I just want to bottle my farts for later they're so insane.
I don't suppose you have a recipe for a cocktail made of bitter resignation, regretting everything, poor life descisions and deep-seated self-loathing?
Turns out my mom didn't really want to know I was in a new dimension last night from smoking so much.
the people in front of me have a grocery cart in their car... i missed college...
Ugh hungover at a laundromat is a terrible feeling. For some reason I keep getting sucked into staring at the clothes spinning around and around and it makes me want to profusely projectile vomit everywhere
You're like a care bear with a big cock & a sexual prowess that would put the mighty Thor to shame.
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