yo I sort of want to fuck rachel maddow. but I'm not a lesbian. actually I reaally want to so maybe I am a lesbian. at least on weekdays at 9.
he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
she moved to the other side of town, do you realize how far i gotta walk to get a blow job???
You act like I'm the first person to try and hook up with a blind chick.
There comes a time where you just have to sit back and watch the drunken idiots pee on each other
College is a time for personal growth. Meaning it's time to start using those pickup lines on randos at dive bars.
But you can still look for dick after you find Jesus.
I have a bruise on dick where you tried to "high five" me.
I just realized that I have to choose between a future orthopedic surgeon and a dude currently in jail. My life is so fucked.
to answer your questions bluetooth, 30ft, like a tampon, ask her, her idea, got tired of trying to find her in crowed clubs
Oh, that was the alley that I ate a pine cone in.
I feel like asking for a towel for after I puke before I puke to be more respectful than jus going outside to puke and coming back inside covered in sweat and tears.
Dude, I totally just made my launch phrase on my new phone "Wingardium Leviosa" so that when people try it and it doesn't work I can say, "It's leveeOHsa, not leveeoh-SA."
You were more fun when you didn't have morals.
THERE ARE SO MANY HOT DADS AT WHOLE FOODS
Randomize
