umm..so Dad's wearing a thong, I don't know what to do
put a dollar in it?
you tried to arm wrestle for the title of "mom's favorite son"
He was sweet. He even warned me that his dick curved, and I quote, "more than a banana."
Something about getting head on stairs. I don't know.
Use motel 8. I'll give you my credit card #. i'll pay for it cuz i care about your vagina.
I think we've had way too many heart to hearts in the Mc Donalds parking lot for this to be a healthy relationship
Apparently im getting a reputation for how i mix drinks. Im the midas of booze. Everything i touch turns to koolaid.
She took one look at my hardon and said, "You have a dick built for anal."
That wasn't a compliment.
the last thing i remember was the norwegian kid tacking a bag of wine to the ceiling, then boom! shower drain.
Yeah even if I got stabbed it would be worth it
I think we've reached the point in the summer were we need to go back to school. I was so bored yesterday I nearly bought blow dart gun.
My heart says buy the granny panties, but my vagina says don't throw in the towel yet.
I refuse to believe this is a lapse in my dick hunting skills. It's gotta be the gods playing a game.
So apparently dinosaur erotica does, in fact, exist.
I'm gonna be late for work because i decided to masturbate and forgot to put my clothes in the dryer
Randomize
