she told me to hold the wheel while she hung out the sunroof and cursed the old lady behind us out.
Half my make-up was stuck to his thigh where I'd fallen asleep after the blowjob.
now that we've slept with the entire soccer team i think its time to expand the horizon.
I've got my laundry in the car, tonights 1 night stand pre-req is an in suite washer and dryer. Let's do this!
She came over and gave me a handy and then just lingered for a day and a half. Worst weekend ever.
I think im gonna bang this 35 year old at a kids birthday party in the bathroom at this house while the kids open the presents.
I should work for the FBI. Or planned parenthood.
That's quite a broad spectrum. What did you do?
By the end of the first quarter he was so hammered he was pouring beer into the crockpot with the miniature hot dogs and BBQ sauce saying he loved the supper bowl and he loves taking mini weinies to the face
It was kicking off big time until you crawled out the bar on your hands and knees. Nobody wanted to mess with that.
The tequila covers up the fact that the choco liquor tastes like sadness.
I can't have my last hookup before 21 have been behind a dumpster
When Pitbull's songs sum up your life... you know it's time for some serious life changes.
for once I'd like a one night stand where I don't meet the guys mom or wife in the morning
Let's go buy marshmallows and play chubby bunny until we feel alive again
she just kept straddling the railing to the stairs and shouting "come on Seabiscuit, lets win this for America."
Randomize
