Apparently throwing up on your own cape is still a party foul
Gross thing of the day...i got cum in my new boots
I had fun last night. We should have sex less often.
Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
No, he's fine. He only wanted to know why there were traffic pylons in the living room and how the peanut butter got on the ceiling.
i need to find a notary that isn't going to turn me in for blatantly lying to the us and chilean governments
according to the random from alabama i slept with last night i kept saying "poor lil tink tink" over and over in my sleep
Hungover like ... in bed with the Brita pitcher and a straw, only opening one eye at a time.
If you value my life, if you value your own, please look for that godforsaken cookie. Please.
I think we should go through the tsa checkpoint with raging hardons when we go through LAX. I think we should pass out some viagra to everyone
I'm all for hockey players but dude, he asked me to lick his chipped tooth mid-hook up.
If I hid at school to avoid the cops, is it fleeing and evading or just being a good student?
She said she had a surprise for me and sent me a video of her having sex with some fat dude. It was a mood killer
god dammit I AM NO LONGER PUTTING UP WITH YOUR HETEROSEXUALITY I QUIT
For a second fuck I think last night went extremely well... our sexual relationship is progressing at a pace that im quite satisfied with.
Randomize
