you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
suddenly SuperBad didn't seem so funny anymore...she did have her period on my leg.
We went to red robin and there was a 15 minute wait so we went and fucked in the car. Quickies, endless fries, and a mascot handing out balloons- this is literally the night of my dreams.
You kept telling me to "raw dog" your take home breathalyzer without the mouthpiece
i'm almost positive she was a dude but like it doesn't even matter
re read what you just said
Can we make sure camping doesn't turn into forest-orgy?
Lol, last year was UNREAL
Oh man, are we repeating last 4th of July?!
That shouldn't even be a question, it's a tradition now. Hope your manhood is ready.
It's statistically impossible for there not to be at least one guy sexting you right now
i need to stop establishing animals as safe words. Giraffe and Penguin are really awkward words to say during sex
I got hella high today and freaked out about life and interest rates
What's worse having drunken sex with hot married man or breaking the diet one week in?
how do i say "cradle the balls" in Italian
drunkkkkk be here I heart you
I feel like he doesn't realize we're offering him a threeway with sisters and I don't understand how that's possible.
Maybe we should bring mom next time.
Just found out a shooting happened in our parking lot while it was closed this morning. So thaaaaaaaaats fun.
Randomize