hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
imagine if the morning after your status automatically updated with the name of the person you hooked up with
I think I'm going to inject the gummy vitamins with vodka
I'm glad you're using your medical degree for some good for once
You told me when we were leaving the club if I could pin point your nipple through your padded bra you would show me if I was right.
Looking for things to spread butter on. Found men's briefs in garbage can. Lost insurance card. Summer has finally arrived
I should also mention that having been a sheltered child, I am conditioned to have serious kinks and find upper bodies of either sex attractive. And legs.
just found out they live across the street from coke dealers... rethinking the new years resolution
he ran through my sliding door
in his defense that door gets complicated after 10 beers
Maybe before the beach I should get a tracking chip in my arm.
His reasoning for leaving the keys in the ignition of my car overnight with the top down in an open parking lot ? Too eager to have sex. The sex was not that good for him to do this twice....
Shirtless guy staggering down the sidewalk, puking into a Prada shopping bag. Ahhh, the walk of shame in Boystown.
then he grabbed my tit and yelled "FOR NARNIA!!" then dove into my vag. i think I will do him again strictly for the entertainment value
oh, i solved that problem. i told him i wanted to steal my roommate's nephew. radio silence. haven't heard from him since.
He sent me a dick pic for every page I had to write for final papers (87) & brought me adderall. Tell me that isn't romance.
Life update: This fucking MacBook repair guy called me over last night for a booty call and he didn’t have a condom OR a bed
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