so this guy on craigslist is offering a case of beer to shave his back. i think i'm gonna take him up on it.
This house was built for laser tag.
you know its a sad night when you can actually see and hear sitcoms on at the bar
You tried to tell me you weren't high while you were eating French onion dip out of the jar with a spoon
This show inspires me to have sex in space
Screw this I'm going to go talk to her. If you hear sirens they're for me.
That's why you NEVER put anything a stripper gave you in your mouth
Btw sorry for throwing that bag of ice at your face lastnight....
Handicvap rails on the toilet atre soooooo fuckin handy right nmow.
Chuck job is nothing more than to be my dick stand when I'm too drunk to hold it while pissing
I had a sex dream. With two guys. And my subconscious decided to put your dick on BOTH OF THEM. If there is a society where that does not mean "I cherish you" I do not want to live there.
Just took a shower for the sole purpose of getting off without using my hands... I've reached a new level of summer-lazy.
Wait. We seriously played strip beer pong at the bar last night. Who said I never came up with good ideas
I'm sorry I was just sleeping on the kitchen floor I'm too dead to think
You've had it in your mouth, how have you not seen it?
Randomize
