I don't usually arrange sex via text message
i just saw her new tattoo, how much more trashy can you get than having "taste the rainbow" on your body for the rest of your life?
I think it's time we have the "weird fetish" talk.
He said something pertaining to Ragu and vodka I'm worried
i'm sure god appreciates how great my boobs look during this fine christmas eve mass
The night started going down hill when she shot the cashier in the face with the confetti gun we bought at 711.
I'm having one of my monday morning walk of shame coffees if you care to join.
Just copped mushrooms from a dude in a business suit. U comin or what?
Dude! I just figured out I can successfully hide a 4oz flask between my boobs without endangering my cleavage! College: conquered!
It was going great until he started saying "ooh kill em" under his breath with each thrust
How is it possible that I'm still a virgin and you've managed to have sex in a cheetah print onesie TWICE
mom had to come pick me up from the hotel. I crawled to her car. She told me the entire way home if I puked in it I was going to lick it up. Like high school all over again...
She told me the next morning I stared at her tits for like 15 minutes with binoculars from only a few seats away.
Why is there an inflatable flamingo in the backseat of my car?
Lesson Learned: It's not a party until someone pisses their pants.
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