never play flip cup with pint glasses
it's like there's an entire ecosystem in your vagina.
If I remember taking any of my finals after tomorrow night, it will not have been a successful night.
well, 500 bucks doesn't grown on trees, and i need that bear suit for any chance of vagina access.
It took me four clicks to get to 2009 on his profile. This can't work.
then he asked me if i wanted to "handle his wingman"
I FUCKING SERVED PEOPLE AND POURDED JUGS AND GOT FREE BEEEEEEEERERTERRY
Why did I wake up holding food tongs?
I would think I was a stalker too if I wasn't myself
Someone woke me up and gave me a sprite and some pills. I put them in my belly button. Trust no one.
He could have been a one armed faceless howler monkey. I was so slammered that I didn't care what I was having sex with or if whatever it was... was doing it right.
I'm surprised I haven't crapped out a leprechaun, I'm so hungover
Still butthurt there's a framed picture of me passed out on the toilet in my grandparents' living room
Go have fun. I'm gonna go shower off the regret.
congrats on being the token straight people in our group.
Randomize