guess who came home with a hottie last night
Def drugged
As I was puking last night I told them "it's ok I'm a paramedic"
Should I feel bad that I fucked her and made her ride my little brothers razor scooter home?
He just kept petting my ear and informing me that I wasn't one of the guys
was i strangled at any point last night? or was his dick just that long
I think rescheduling my finals around when Im going to be hungover is responsible
Tried making out with pop rocks in my mouth. That shit is magical.
i was in burrito mode and too drunk to move. no fucks were given. none.
I'm just gonna use that pot butter as dip for chips. That's fat, American AND stoner!
I just audibly asked myself if i wanted to masturbate.
And then audibly agreed
Come share oat with me in your robe
My Sexting was not on an AP level
I just want a guy who will spank me, fuck me, then take me to my office xmas party. I'd that too much to ask?
Had sex on the beach last night with a drug dealer. win-win-win situation
What’s the level of adulting when you reschedule a dentist appointment to have a threesome?
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