You should see what I'm doing to your stuffed animals
she started talking about my kids
was she topless?
so today I found out that she used to be a he....
are you gonna get a divorce?
My entire life is one complicated drinking game
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
Whatever. I'm saving myself for my wedding night or a night with enough patron.
I was high fiving everyone. I even high fived with the wall for doing such a good job suporting the ceiling and keeping us alive.
dude to be honest with you there is a used condom that ive just left on my floor for three days
you have got to get your shit together
The Mole People would help. They are a kind, helpful people, the Mole People are.
Mole people?
Mole people
I can wear a rubber suit at three am and spank someone's ass until its sore and fuck them three ways from Sunday. And get up the next day and do their laundry. As long as once in awhile they rub my back without expecting anything
I can't tell if my bong is gender-neutral or not
Moral of the story: always keep condoms in your bra
Hey I was just wondering if you could go look for my teeth?
I'm honored that you could tear yourself away from your girlfriend's vagina long enough to text me.
Well I'm over here squandering a fabulous hair day and radiant complexion
Randomize
