I only kidnapped one of them. chill
I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
do you know your status is "goal for vegas: hook up with a girl AND a boy"?
and THATS why i'm not adding my mom on facebook
Whats the name of the guy with his hand down my pants?
please hurry. your mom just evil laughed to herself in the kitchen like she's plotting my death.
Clearly, I'm already going to hell, so there's no point in trying anymore.
I love how kegs are figured into our monthly bills
So i know you wont get this until you land, but if i'm late its cause i was having sex. being blunt and hope that explains things.
How many folks do you know who bring coke to a dinner party. Seriously.
I was fine until "Under Pressure" came on the radio. It's like God wanted me to shit my pants on the drive home.
Challenge: Try to have your balls hanging out in every picture you take tonight
Challenge Accepted
Of the three people getting wasted at this dance competition, im two of them
I don't fucking know. I'm out stimulating the economy. Not locked in a room with a marker board.
Oh at the liquor store again?
I woke up with a black eye and a buttplug...not sure I really want to know what happened.
I made a booty call at 3:30 am on a Monday... I think I just became the ultimate female fuckboy. I don't know whether to be ashamed or get myself a trophy.
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