So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
she tasted like a mixture of sweat and destiny
She made me go with her to get a pregnancy test since she's missed a few birth control pills. She made me park in the "expectant mothers" spot at CVS and preceded to ask if it would be in the pest control section.
so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
I thought his dick was headless. then I pulled back the foreskin.
one night of dollar margs at dinner and dollar beers at the bar later, i am throwing up in his shower and gurgling soap and water to kill the taste of sin in my mouth. dollar days need to stop endng like this.
The girl I hooked up with in exchange for Ramen freshmen year is living with the girl I currently wish to bang.
Try oodles of noodles this time.
I'm currently making some changes in my life. If you don't hear from me anymore, then you're probably one of them. Or I'm dead.
Every time I drink before 5 somebody's pet dies
Stop drinking before 5
Easier said than done
Also what is the name of Americas thing where we had a holy obligation to expand westward? I'm going name my new lighter that.
I heard moaning and ass slapping and sponge bob.
I smell like hot dogs and captain morgan it's 11:20 am what is my life
Hey it's Males-You-Probably-Wish-You-Hadnt-Had-Sex-With Monday. MYPWYHHSWM
Just because I'm sleeping with him doesn't mean I'm in love with him, it means that I want to have sex with someone who isn't a serial killer.
Is it weird to invite your FWB to thanksgiving dinner??
Randomize