so after the bed broke we walked out of the room to a standing ovation
dude, never let a drunk girl playbite your dick. the doctor came in laughed and left.
Just an fyi, teatherball while wasted might be the hardest sport ever.
He moved away. I mourned his dick all of Sunday. I feel a little better now.
i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
I just remember getting him back by licking the window on his truck.
i shall enjoy my approximately 2 hours of being sober today
I wasn't so much your wingman at that point as I was the interpreter of you point at shit and mumbling to the cab driver.
This hot topless Jamaican just ran down the st with me on his back and He was screaming "I be stealing yo white ladies."
I don't know if i should be jealous or worried... or question where you are.
It feels like I'm breathing out my heart and it spreads through my limbs to my fingertips.
She said my new name was "ranch" because I "looked delicious"
Mm. I just want to eat pancakes off of his fine ass.
It was a great party. People were literally still doing shots and playing drunk Jenga at 6am...
My talents include parallel parking and over reacting about absolutely everything.. And drinking..
She’s either doing coke or thinks my cock has the Covid vaccine. Either way I haven’t worn clothes in 3 days
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