dude. I'm so drunk.
pete, this is bryce's mom
I can't wait to have my cock in your ass
pete, this is still bryce's mom
I'm pretty sure I'm almost gay. Like, I'd do it if I had no choice. Like, if i were in prison I'd try it.
i would have smoked before this dance, how ever i have surgery Monday and I looked up weed and anesthesia and fatalities was mentioned, so i decided that it would be a bad idea
probs a good idea
i like the whole idea of life and being alive
you sure you're not high?
She sat on the stairs and yelled sex positions at us. I don't remember if we went along with it but judging by the beer and condoms I'm thinking yes.
We're stealing the mannequin. He's my new swimming partner.
Why is there a chicken nugget nailed to my front door?
There's something very strange about masturbating in a hotel room. I feel like I'm cheating on my room...
It was awk he was sittin on a plastic backyard chair in his underwear and high white socks in the dark watching the nuggets game
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
And I woke up by myself with peanut butter.. Cool
Do me a favor and scream dirty things at him in a polite sexy, come hither way
I woke up with glitter and eggshells in my bed wtf
Are you alone?
No, but I have to leave him in my bed while I go on this date.
Don't try to butter me sideways
That is without a doubt the most Southern thing you have ever said.
At Target. Everyone is stocking up on food and flashlights for this storm. I stocked up on beer. Dont judge me, it was on sale...
Randomize
