I'm not a real person
I'm sorry, everyone knows that
WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
Yeaaah, so cabbie laughed at me, and said, "rough nite? Let me find you some music" . apparently OPP is the appropriate ride of shame soundtrack.
There is tupperware vodka. thats right tupperwares full of vodka. best leftovers ever
you were crying and trying to give advice to people.. that's was a new level of drunk for you
i dont care. it has been a 14 hour day, and we are all celebrating by alternating shots and grilled cheese.
Flaming shots last night. Missing an eye brow. There a connection?
We shot off some fireworks at 12 and then I orchestrated the group singing of god bless the USA all while wearing a don't tread on me flag as a cape. I repped hard.
Right now I'm standing in front of my fridge, drinking wine out of the bottle and eating cold steak with my hands. I am THE BEST at being single.
He'll only communicate through snapchat with pictures of him holding his cat or his dick. Bit of Russian roulette opening them in public but I did it anyway.
ACTUALLY FUNNIEST MOMENT OF THE NIGHT WAS WHEN YOU WERE TALKING TO HIM AND YOU SAID "WHEN YOU MEET ME IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE A LOT ANGRIER." And then he said "WHEN I MEET YOU IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE LESS DRUNK, HOPEFULLY."
I just interrupted this girl giving a dude head in a parked car on the south side. Going down on your guy while you're parked in front of your house because you don't want your parents catching you is fine by me, just don't block the fire hydrant.
i just passed i guy i once let listen to me masterbate on the phone...nyc is not big enough
I don't really care where everyone ended up, but is everyone alive and not in jail?
Not in jail
Alive?
He told his wife he was too old to pretend to be straight. She tried to argue. He walked two tables over and was like this is my highschool sweetheart and he's an excellent fuck, we're running away together. It was epic.
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