they ran out of cups so I just drank out of a cowbell.
things that need to be invented #43: vodka that also acts as birth control.
just had to explain to the health center why i wanted 50 condoms a month.
You walked in on me taking a shit and told me to hit the bong
Do something fun then. Blow up the house or whatever.
How have you survived this long?
Dumb luck and a deal with the devil.
Yes. I am getting trashed on an open tab while judging a karoke competition
Impressive. I approve.
81 degrees in april.... Thinking margaritacicles, you in?
it's like my freshman wet dream come true
You were dancing with his friend and you stopped to literally push the girl he was dancing with out of the way to make out with him
shes making a cheerios necklace using dental floss 'just in case' she gets the munchies later
We're so stoned that were both cuddling on the couch and crying over Forest Gump while eating popcorn. She asked me if I'd fuck away the sadness. I think she's serious.
I don't even remember what he looks like. All I know is he's 6 foot 100. I like that.
I went to work hungover and threw up in the break room. Told them I was pregnant and then said I quit. I don't have a job now, thanks vodka.
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
yeah....try hearing them in person. it sounds like two muppets going at it
Randomize
