I saw an Asian dude carrying a patchwork denim purse get into a car with two rednecks at the grocery store tonight. Imagine what I could have seen if I had actually done something interesting.
frozen peaches as icecubes. vodka Sundays just got wayyyy better
and then he said he has been waiting since high school to touch my boobs
I can blatently call girls sluts here and they think i'm speaking norwegian
Yeah well tell that to drunk me. She seems to have no standards or gender preference.
fun fact: in my eskimo family tree i am the only brunette
We just laid there in bed together, petting his dick and repeating, "IT FEELS LIKE VELVET!!!"
Would fucking the college coach be against recruiting rules?
I just threw up again because I opened my eyes... God is laughing. I resorted to taking the Mexican Dramamine because I feel seasick from walking. Not helping.
My alarm clock on my phone was changed to Fat Bottom Girls over the weekend, and I just now noticed. I'm actually okay w that after Mardi Gras. Well done, random. Well done.
I asked him why he was eating an entire can of refried beans, the only answer I got was "revenge"
I am just saying if Clark Kent walks into your life, you fuck him
As he was cumming he yelled "Yahtzee" then said im free to go. Thats my one night stand
These business classes have improved my drug business ten fold
I think I broke my dick but 10/10 would definitely do it again.
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