Mac n' cheese is coming out of my nose. You can't make that feel better
Tuesday night just isn't my ideal coke binge night.
No, he attached a coozie to his crutches so he can carry his beer around the party.
Like I said I'm looking on the bright side. The bright side just happens to be filled with penis attached to hot marines
Homeboy was juggling while taking bong rips. Of course he got laid.
You know what I'm hearing? Blah, blah, blah, I have pneumonia, blah, blah, blah, I'm a quitter. COME OVER AND PUT YOUR PENIS INSIDE ME.
i want us to warm up up with us making out while i lay you down touching and feeling all the spots you know are going to get you warmed up. im gonna move down your body kissing every inch as i move down past your panty line ;)
Did you watch the carolina game tonight?
After I was kicked out of the last frat I blacked out, woke up in the hospital with no clothes no phone and no idea what happened last night. But i got hospital socks, thats a win in my book.
I needed 3am water. Not 3am shots of rum.
so she gave me back a bag of clothing, had some boxers in it...they werent mine.... well that sums up 5 years of my life
he was definitely tindering while i gave him head
Captain and coke. And it's not drinking alone cuz i have a dog
Come on, will you just fuck him so we can watch Star Wars.
SPICY FOODS AND BLOWJOBS DON'T MIX.
YOU SAID YOU'D TRY ANYTHING ONCE YOU LIAR
Next time I think it’s a good idea to hook up with any of your wife’s family members or friends just kick me in my dick
Randomize