so explain again why im purple
no
I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
All I remember is yelling RUN as fireworks started going off in the kitchen. Who said that was a bad idea?
we were running to make last call and you stopped me and said very seriously "if i fall, go on without me. just make sure theres a beer in my hand when you go"
He went 'unicorn hunting' and lost a fight with a fence. That's how he ended up in the ER.
Never use fire and ice condoms with a dude who always claims he "didn't know it was the wrong hole"
My heart feels like a grape in a barrel about to be crushed into wine
When our dicks touched he made a lightsaber noise.
I just sent a bad sext to my sister. There's not even a way to damage control this, is there?
The man was doing everything in his power to get away from his wife, including go into the gay club.
the night was just a blur of sex and pie
No,she came up with a new game: "Where is the most interesting place I can show Drew my asshole?"
But he was still all, "YOU TEXTED TONY WHILE YOU WERE GETTING FUCKED?!" Like THAT was the weird part.
Well, he was practically tripping over his dick to get to me so I'd say my new dress was successful
I'm not saying it wasn't great. I'm just saying sleeping with a gassy, depressed,45 year old mother was a different experience. Would do it again though.
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