I'm totally gay for Miss Californiaaaaaa
oh sweet, sweet irony
chipotle is closed for thanksgiving... I am officially thankful for NOTHING.
Just saying. If you end up in canada tomorrow morning at least youll have my text to remind you how it happened
I wore water proof eyeliner just incase the first picture of me of 2012 is a mugshot
Yesterday was just the icing on the rejection cake that was my week
That boy needs some memories to take back home with him
All these girls I talk to are like I've never had a hangover and I'm like you don't drink right here let me show you
I'd rather not be labeled as that girl who came over, drank a bunch of their alcohol, woke up the 5 year old, broke shit and left
One failed naked backward somersault off the bed and I realize - I either need to drink less or workout more. Perhaps both.
Was your bare penis on or around my blanket?
I fell asleep giving a handjob, had a sex dream about giving a handjob, and woke up giving a handjob. Life.
I found you laying in a field of grass near the trail I jog on in the morning like a drunken Bambi.
Hey, YOU try working out drunk every night! Besides, I think at least one of those bruises is a hickey.
Dilemma. I'm out of wine and I can't put on clothes to go to the liquor store bc I just got spray tanned. If this isnt white girl problems I don't know what is.
I don't think you understand I turned down McDonalds for you.
Randomize
